Fun with Food and Masturbation

On today’s kink and coffee ~

Get a Culinary Boner by having some fun with food.

We are going to sip and stroke into the topic of fun with food. ‘Tis the season for foodies right? Does this sound like a ridiculous fetish? I guess it really depends on what your definition of ridiculous is. For me, Mistress Lillith. I fucking love it. It is one of my favorite guided masturbation calls – guiding my stroker boys to the edge and beyond, time and time again using a plethora of different items from their own kitchen.

I pride myself on having the creative skills to turn a seemingly empty hotel room into the world’s most amazing cock and ball torture chamber. Been there, and back, and will be there soon again. The same with food masturbation ideas.

I’m guessing none of your favorite chefs are sharing their recipes and adding in a dash of kink by incorporating it with some self-love. But, why not? Food turns people on and gets them into bed, why not eat your own food and turn yourself on?

I love melon season – I have more fruit fuckers than I know what to do with. Take any melon, cut a hole and fuck it until you cum. Make love to it (American pie style – btw, I have heard a warm pie as stick and messy as it is  an amazing feeling ) . Use something like a cantaloupe and then save it for morning for melon with a side of cum. Masturbation and CEI – The self-love that keeps on loving you. Sounds like a nice balanced and kinky breakfast.

You can have at it and have some fun but obviously, you won’t want to stroke with peanut butter if you are going to go into anaphylactic shock. Subscribe to RACK and you’ll be just fine…(Risk Aware Consensual Kink)

Putting a condom on a banana has been said and done but, have you seductively eaten a banana while stroking with the banana peel wrapped around your member?

Have you ever stirred a pot of macaroni and cheese and taken lukewarm cheese sauce to stroke with to see if you can make the same sexual sounds as the mac and cheese (how many of you are thinking about it right now) ?

Of course it is messy and seemingly a little humiliating at times (or a lot)– but you can’t deny the unique, exquisite feeling of fun with food.

One of my boys is my cake baker – Buying boxed cake(insert tirade about cutting corners here but, I digress), all the ingredients for that (the water, oil, eggs) – sprinkles and frosting and even a candle for some added wax play…he would were a pair of panties and then dump and mix all ingredients in…beating for two minutes just as it said to in the instructions.

This is one of those where you have a few trash bags on the floor for easier clean up but…it is incredibly messy. Sometimes he would get to add a dollop of cream after (cumming into his masturbatory cake mess) it all but I enjoyed lighting the candle and watching the wax drop down.

We’ve all heard the stories about playing with cucumbers. But, for a twist, hollow it out until there is only a tiny bit of the flesh of the cucumber left ,and the rind still intact (maybe one cut to open and wrap…but you get a bit enough cucumber and there is no reason to break the rind) is a brand new feeling.

Vegetables are supposed to be healthy for you – you’d be getting more than your recommended daily serving.

You masturbating addicts are always looking for new and exciting ways to enhance your masturbation. Who says it only needs to be specialized lubes and toys from the sex shop. You have your own personal sex shop right there in your domicile.

In the essence of RACK and safety and cleanliness- after you’ve had your foodie masturbatory fun – make to really clean everything out thoroughly. Especially those that are uncircumcised. Yes, there are risks – but the biggest concern is sugars that can cause yeast infections and I may tell you to masturbate with bread but I really don’t want your yeast ….let me stop there. Gross.

Have fun, but be safe and clean afterwards. Also, be aware of lingering effects of any kind of hot food or spice. Tread and stroke carefully if using any kind of granulated anything as it can be abrasive to the skin and it can go from fun and titillating to scratches, burns and uncomfortable healing for a few days.

I dare you to go and try something new – and go through all of the food groups.

You got spanked for playing with your food when you were younger…now you beg to be spanked while you are encouraged to play with your food.

What a fun and twisted world we live in.


For some food masturbation tips tricks assignments and guidence on your own – connect with me on Niteflirt or AVN Stars. You can also follow me on twitter @mistresslillith. Questions, comments or topic requests can be submitted to madamerotic @

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